Beer Wars Trailer
Through that film, I was introduced for the first time to Rhonda Kallman. She helped Samuel Adams and their Boston Lager take off. Eventually, there was nowhere else for her to go with the Boston Beer Company so she left to start her own brew (why she did this, no one will ever know). I watched her struggle to sell her beer to every single person she could. From local bars to private investors, she struggles to get her beer off the ground. I see her kids crying that she is going out every night with her big fake breasts practically begging to burst out of her thin Old Navy orange-red hoodie. I see her attempt to get support from Jim Koch (Mr. Samuel Adams), and eventually trying to sell out to the big three. I watch her terrible day-by-day existence and, quite honestly, feel terrible for her. Then I transport myself to tonight...when I strolled across her beer, Moonshot: Premium Beer with Caffeine, at the local Total Wine. I cannot help but purchase a six-pack to support this woman I feel so close to...
I hate to say it, but this beer is absolutely terrible. I don't like to riddle my beer analyses with personal opinions, but with this brew, and all I've emotionally put into it, I cannot help it. It pours a despicable light straw color with a very Styrofoam-white minimal head to it that leaves the glass within the matter of less than 20 seconds. What does this mean? This means you are looking at a light lager with a shit ton of carbonation. Straight up. A light lager, that apparently, is now riddled with caffeine. Upon tasting the beer, it did not impress at all. In fact, it did quite the opposite. My buddy Travis, my brother Andrew, and myself were all disappointed in the all-around quality of this beer. It had a slight fruitiness to it that left the mouth rather quickly and left a watery flavor to it that was anything but delicious. My friend Travis described this as a "filler," meaning a beer that you'd drink in between your delicious, epic beers to keep you awake.
What does this really mean? I know you are wondering the same thing we all were. Here's what I think...why in the world would any of the big three, or even Jim Koch, sign on to promote a beer such as this? The answer is pretty simple. None of them would, mainly because there is nothing original in this guy. It is 4.8% ABV, a light lager, and quite honestly not very good in flavor. See, Guinness is rather similar in ABV but it is not only delicious, but it is the best beer for you if you are trying to lose weight (if you don't believe me, look it up). This is low, shitty in flavor (it really just tastes like an MGD 64 with the flavor of an artificial, highly caffeinated sweetener), and quite honestly just dissatisfying. Why would Jim Koch support Rhonda and contribute to a beer that is so similar to the shit that is produced by the big three when he is producing things like Utopias and the ever-so-delicious Double Bock. He's creating and finding new brews every year through a home-brew competition...the last thing he would possibly want is something lacking in originality in terms of flavor and complexity. Going along with that, the big three don't need to throw money away into something they can create themselves (which Anheuser-Busch did with B to the E and eventually failed). So they will focus on their main brands and continue to spend their money where it is needed most; money spent on advertising their top sellers during a continuous string of sporting event commercial breaks. Why pick up a brand that's not even off of the ground yet? It just goes to show you how through one viewpoint, you can feel sympathetic, and even empathetic, for Rhonda. However, after knowing what this brew tastes like and what she's asking from these people, there are other sides to the brewing industry.
Quite honestly, the brewing industry is a tough world. Beer Wars really made me feel bad for this woman and her struggle to pick herself up off of the ground after leaving Samuel Adams. Yes, she took Boston Lager from the east coast of the United States to the west. However, that was a different style of beer that no one had ever seen, nor tasted, before. This Moonshot shit is no different than any of the other, excuse my language, crap out there. You look at something like Sam Adams Light and compare it with any other light beer on the market, and it has such a strong flavorful profile for a "light beer." Then you compare it with Moonshot, and Moonshot doesn't even get off the ground through juxtaposition.
I'm sorry Rhonda, I really am. I really wanted to like your "brain child," but it fell way short of the moon.
